When Covid Comes Home

With each passing day, I found myself perplexed by the escalating severity of my illness, despite my persistent use of Panadol and Strepsils in an attempt to quell what I initially perceived as an evolving fever and sore throat. The peculiar manifestations of this ailment were foreign to my body; it no longer resembled the impending fever I had initially assumed. There was an ominous presence that I could palpably sense coursing through me.

This sensation spurred me to acquire and utilize the Antigen Rapid Test Kit, in order to ascertain if the diminutive yet potent coronavirus had indeed encroached upon my space. This kit affords the convenience of self-testing for the virus in the comfort of your home or office, eliminating the need for a visit to a healthcare facility. I did the test, and alas! A faint red line in the positive area of the test cassette confirmed that the virus had indeed infiltrated my system. I decided to seek confirmation at a clinic nevertheless.

I’ve just returned from the clinic, bearing the positive verdict of a Covid-19 test. All gratitude belongs to the One who orchestrates the existence of every being, animate or otherwise, in the vast expanse of the Heavens and Earth. At last, the virtual entanglement between myself and this notorious adversary has concluded. The physical union is now official, transcending the digital screens through which we’ve been entwined since its emergence in 2020 when it revealed its longstanding affection for the global population. From the headlines to my very doorstep, this reality has woven its presence.

The audacity of the virus strikes me. Despite the presence of its potential first-wife nemesis, Pfizer, the anti-covid-marriage vaccine, which has already established its place in my body system, the virus insists on this union to become a second wife. The tussle between the first and second wives would be fierce. Fortunately, there is a third entity that will be affected by the war struggle and that is me. I am ready to bear the brunt and share the pains of the two wives.

Just as the virus has arrived in the body system without an invitation to cause commotion, I recall that the Pfizer vaccine that came upon invitation did not come fully in peace either when we met last year. While the first dose honourably did not demand heavyweight side effects aside from the pain of the injection that lasted for some days, the dowry I paid for the second dose was a terrible fever that occurred on the night of receiving it. It stormed through me for nearly a week, at a pivotal moment in my life.

I recall wondering then, why now of all weeks? To fall ill at the outset of my first semester, during the week of my inaugural virtual PhD class at the University of Leeds, was a tumultuous beginning to a new chapter. I hoped fervently that the malady would not persist into the subsequent weeks, as my classes commenced at my primary institution, the University of Manchester (United, not the Noisy Neighbour). Yet, as the Manchester classes kicked off, a crimson carpet unfurled itself, adorned with parades of challenges in various forms, heedless of my initial plea.

Now, only a few weeks have passed since the conclusion of the first module for the second semester at my third partner institution, the University of Liverpool, and a research project assignment is already underway. In a fashion reminiscent of the vaccine’s side-effect acrobatics last year, the dreaded virus chose the inception of this current second semester to assert its presence, hoping to supplant its first-wife rival and hinder my learning journey. All this, amidst a burgeoning procession of new challenges making their entrance onto the red carpet in recent months. It’s a mentally and emotionally taxing affair. God is the One whose aid I seek.

After enduring nearly a week of grappling with the virus’s relentless symptom-messengers, I chose to visit the clinic today to confirm the new wife. I’d rather not dwell on the technical intricacies of the physical and emotional torment I’ve been and still am experiencing due to these symptoms. Suffice it to say, the effects of this all-encompassing onslaught have rendered my days arduous and my nights even more unbearable. It’s an all-in-one package of afflictions. I find myself unable to yearn for the night’s embrace or pray for the day’s release. The once serene acts of sleeping and waking have transformed from desirable routines to dreaded experiences.

However, amidst this lonely and trying phase, the chance to forge an intimate connection with the One who created me provides some relief from the pain and keeps the virus and its messengers at bay, albeit to a limited extent. The profound spiritual contemplation and rediscovery that this state has ushered me into are truly invaluable. The pressing question that occupies my thoughts in this state isn’t whether this virus might usher me into the next world. Instead, it’s whether I am spiritually prepared, armed with a robust portfolio of good deeds, to stand before the Lord of the Worlds in the hereafter.

In the interim, I say, “My Lord! Grant me an honourable entrance and a noble exit from this phase. Wherever it leads me, let it be towards goodness.”

Be well!